Doom O'Clock:

I make so many typos in these posts! Seems every time I proofread them I find at least one embarrassing mistake. I fix them as I find them, but sometimes the post won't be anywhere near perfect for a few days. I either need a better editing program or a real life on the ball human editor. I think MS Office might be the more realistic option for now, although I can't afford it at the moment.

Television is poison. If common people had any idea how much the ruling elites loathed them they would be very suspicious of anything they try to get them to watch, eat or listen to. Hollywood and television are not about entertainment, they are about control. Controlling your mind and behavior by spoon feeding you a steady diet of false memories and falsehoods created specifically to mess you up and create general disharmony.

I'm sure that fucking Dana Brownfield carries on like she did me some huge favor by letting me move into her basement, but the reality is that her getting me to do that was all part of her evil plan to get me up here, use her show to make a pariah of me by thoroughly sullying my public image and reputation as much as she could, then make me homeless in the resultant hostile community she created for me. It never would have occurred to me to move into Dana's house. Not only do I prefer to live by myself, I never thought it was a good idea to live with friends (much less those just pretending to be friends). I had a job I liked in a small, friendly community down in Southern California. Unfortunately I moved into a meth house not knowing it at first. I later found out that the only reason that the room was available at the time I got the job was because some guy was paid to give up his room so that they could get me moved in there. Gee, I wonder who may have been behind that? Maybe it was the same people who hired Roger to get me on cocaine back in '87 or Anne to get me back into meth on '05, who knows? Anyway, it wasn't long until everything got unendurably weird for me there, mostly because of her using her fucking show to turn up the heat under me. She was also bribing people to make trouble for me and offering rewards to anyone who could get me fired from my job, all this on top of her usual ongoing defamation and slander. Unfortunately I didn't know anything like that was going on behind my back so I got real spooked by all those strange goings on and I began to see Dana's offer as a viable way out of a bizarre and inexplicable situation, thereby falling right into her insidious trap.

These people had reasons for originally choosing me for their show, what with my mother's suicide when I was young and the history of drug addiction in my family they were confident that they could pull my strings anyway they wanted and get me to follow their script down to the letter. They are experts in psychology and controlling people. It's what they're all about. Television is just a bunch of self referential bullshit that has very little to do with reality. The only way any of it can make sense is if you actually believe previous lies they told you. Television, with it's theater, sound effects, dramatic incidental music and familiar signature tunes is actually preferable to reality for a lot of people, so they consistently deny lessons learned in real life in favor of what they see in the fantasy world of television. Television builds up many layers of lies all to obfuscate the basic facts of life. No wonder everyone is insane these days. The great depression ain't nothing compared to what's ahead, and it will be many times worse because we won't even have the sense of community we had back then. These bastards have been fragmenting us into smaller and smaller pieces for years and they thrive on the resulting chaos.

Of course, on that evening back in 2007 when I first heard this show assaulting my ears in the middle of the night from a neighboring unit in that welfare hotel in Oakland suddenly something clicked and I perfectly understood many things that had been mysteries to me before because it just explained so damn much, but at the same time I could scarcely believe what I was really hearing. A fucking TV show dedicated to talking shit about me? And judging by how some of the people interviewed were people I haven't seen since grade school it must have been going on for quite some time. I mean, what the actual fuck? NO WAY!! And where do they get all these losers with their stupid stories about me anyway? Do they offer them financial rewards for telling stories about me or is it just the thrill of being on TV that encourages them? It seemed anybody could come on there to say anything about me from the most outrageous and unlikely lies to the most petty "Who gives a fuck" bullshit imaginable. It was possibly the most surreal experience of my life. Months later I heard it when Dana even went on the Michael Savage Weiner show to regail that cantankerous old fucktard with some real trivial assed shit about me. She was actually bitching that I stole her library card of all things. Compared with how she plotted for years and nearly killed me her fucking library card is meaningless. And I didn't even steal it anyway, she lent it to me and I happened to have it still on me when she kicked me out. Understandably I had much more urgent matters to contend with besides returning her fucking library card to her. Besides, she's rich as fuck so what did she even need it for anyway? Anyway I still have a hard time even believing any of that actually happened (and is still happening!) to me.

Understandably my knowing that everything I do is always watched by a hostile audience makes me more than a little paranoid. I know they have pinhole cameras in my bedroom (there is really expensive equipment that can find them but it is priced beyond my present reach and the ceiling is pretty high and stuccoed which makes visual detection impossible) and they may have them in every other room in the apartment, possibly even the bathroom for all I know. These schlockmeisters have proven to be VERY sick and trashy so I'd not put it past them. You'd be an insenstative fool to criticize me for doing anything I do that you consider antisocial considering what an egregious violation of the basic human social contract this whole thing is, and you all allow it to happen without so much as a dissenting peep. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?! I think people have a right not to worry about rich assholes hiding cameras in their homes and broadcasting every fucking thing they say and do over the public airwaves to homes across the world. This whole thing is just fucking ridiculous. It is very paralysing to discover you are being so flagrantly and completely violated before the world and it should surprise no one that I no longer feel like "expressing myself" through art or even give a fuck what any of you imbeciles think about anything. You people have already taken way more from me than you've any right to. The only reason I keep this journal is because, as far as I know, I'm the first person anything like this has ever been done to so nobody knows how it can affect someone. You could say I feel an obligation to record for science how this all is affecting me mentally, although I'm sure there are other elements to how they have been controlling and manipulating me over the years that I don't know about and which may even be beyond my ken. This situation is extraordinary on many levels.

I'm through putting on any kind of show for the public. After all, I never agreed to any of this, I didn't settle on any terms with these media trolls or sign any contract so you've no right to expect a damned thing from me, you certainly have no fucking right to judge me- and if you think you do you are completely delusional. If you watch that thing you're a criminal same as you would be if you were peeking in my windows at night or opening and reading my mail. Why do any of you feel "better" or morally superior to me anyway? Because the TV told you you were? LOL! You're a punk to believe any of the bullshit television tells you, and I mean that in the original and purest sense of the word*. These media people have an infernal genius for slander and, if there is even a marginal monetary incentive involved, they enjoy using psychology to get their victims to destroy themselves. Messing people up and getting them killed is one of their favorite sports, and, like the true demons that they are, they live for it. Actually making money off of doing this is like the icing on the cake as far as they're concerned.

If I have new readers you may be perplexed by my hostility towards Dana Brownfield since she actually went on her own show and put on a big act, punctuated with big crocodile tears and all, about how she desperately tried to help me for years but that I was just too determined to self destruct to make any practical use of any of her attempts to be of assistance to me. Just know everything she said on the little cameos she gave herself was complete and utter stuff and nonsense. If you are not convinced, please take these facts into consideration- I lived in her basement for about four years, and during that time someone was secretly videotaping me in her house and taping everything I said, someone installed Webwatcher on my computer to take screenshots of all my emails and internet activities and, even more creepy, they were paying whores to get me back into drugs, and people to clandestinely tape record me after leading me into 'controversial' topics of conversation. This person would also routinely dig through all my journals, sketchbooks, letters and anything else they could find whenever I left the house, looking for material to feature on that ludicrous show. Considering I was living in Dana's home at the time and it was just the two of us, who do you think that person might have been? Hint: it wasn't me. Anyway, all this material was regularly woven into that inflammatory show they make about me and slanted it in such a way as to stir up public acrimony against me and make my path through life all that more difficult. Now tell me, does any of that sound like anything a "friend" would do, or does it sound more like something a fucked up person trying to make my life an unmanageable hell for me would do? Keep in mind she makes her living off that show and you will more fully understand her true character and the character of all her associates.

She really is nuts too. She, till this day, likes to converse with me online through a series of fake accounts she has made. I know it's her but I don't want to reveal how I know because then she will try to change her approach. I really don't know why she does this. I wonder if theres some aspect to Satanic magic that makes it beneficial somehow to stay in touch with their intended victims and deceive them like this? I don't really know, or maybe she's just fucking crazy. For a while I assumed she may have been fired from the TV show because she fucked up so bad by initiating a sequence of events that culminated in my finding out about it after more than thirty years of their successfully keeping it secret from me. I made this assumption when I learned that, according to my intelligence, she has recently moved out of state. Well, some things have happened since my making that assumption that indicate she is, if not still in charge of this media project, at least deeply involved. I suppose it was silly of me to assume that just because she moved far away from the studio and station that she'd no longer be able to do work related to it, I mean, after all, in this internet age we live in distance means little to nothing.

*For those who may not know, "punk" was originally prison slang used to denote a homosexual sex slave. I bet these media guys really get off on the fact they tricked millions of  teens into identifying with that term. They do this all the time, this is what they do. The peace sign, for instance, that was all the rage back in the 60's made by holding erect the middle and index fingers while keeping all the other fingers folded was actually an ancient "fuck me" sign used by prostitutes and was the opposite of the now universally recognised "fuck you" sign made by sticking out the middle finger by itself. Also, despite radio preacher Ben Larson's claim that the peace symbol actually represents a Christian cross with broken arms, thats not really the case, it's actually even much more sinister than that. I used to think it was some "no nukes" symbol made from the silhouette of a bomber seen from underneath and originally enclosed with a red circle with a line through it, but my research shows that it's actually an upside down Nordic life rune. Standing rightside up the three lines at top of the rune denote tree branches, suggestive of the tree of life. Since the've circled it and turned it upside down you can see that it's intended to suggest death instead. Considering they've used psychological and occult tricks like these to bring down entire nations all that they have done to me has been mere child's play for them. It appears as though they use, among other things, a lethal combination of propaganda and magic symbolism to achieve their ends. It's a miracle that after all the trouble they've made for me during the past 43 years that I'm still here at all to type this out for you to read.